How to Start When You Feel Stuck (with Keke Smith) | Ep. 108

If hope feels far away, this conversation brings it back. Guest Keke Smith (Keishandra Smith) shares how one promise in Jeremiah 29:11 moved her from turmoil to traction and why belief must become action. We unpack how God meets us in the mess, how unity fuels purpose, and how small, consistent choices build momentum. Discover how to get unstuck, align with God’s calling, and lead with light—right where you are. Start small, move forward, and watch faith come alive again.

Follow Keke on all social media: FB @Keke Smith, IG, and TikTok @iamkekesmith

Grab her book here > Beauty for Ashes

- Interviews do not imply Equip The Next’s endorsement of writings, ministry  and positions of the interviewee or any other resources mentioned. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Community Invitation
• 1:34 Introducing Kiki Smith And Her Mission
• 3:16 Beauty For Ashes: Why She Wrote It
• 3:43 Feeling Stuck And Hearing God
• 5:17 Jeremiah 29:11 As A Turning Point
• 7:20 Changing The Lens And Building Faith
• 9:28 Practical Tool: Understand Your Decisions
• 12:15 Letting God Into Hidden Places
• 13:57 First Steps In Discipling Your Family
• 16:20 Relationship With God Over Religion
• 18:10 Light, Commitment, And Gentle Invitation
• 20:05 You Are The Only Bible Some Read
• 21:05 Community, Support, And Guardrails
• 22:25 Overflow Begins: It Takes Two
• 23:35 Agreements, Lessons, And Purpose
• 25:05 Without Agreement Purpose Stalls
• 26:35 Alignment, Unity, And Confidence
• 28:30 Coveting Gifts Vs Playing Your Part
• 30:20 Many Members, One Body
• 32:00 Finding Calling Through Word And Fellowship
• 33:20 Connect With Kiki And Final Blessing

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:00

This is episode 108, and I'm your host, Latoya, and this is the quit the next, where you get equipped to lead the disciple and move the mission forward. So, are you feeling stuck and want to get out? You don't want to miss this. If you are new, thank you so much. If you are returning, thank you for stopping by again. I'm so grateful that you're here. Listen, I hope that you have downloaded the free guardrails. It's five simple study guardrails to help you. Feel free to look in the description depending on where you're listening to. I would really appreciate it. If this podcast has blessed you, I hope it's blessed you. If you've been here long enough, I pray it's blessed you. Share it. Share it with somebody that you um love, share it with somebody that you want to encourage, and be a part of the community. Subscribe. Um, we have Bible studies and pop-ups and telegram groups. It's just, it's good, it's wholesome fellowship with like-minded believers. Anywho, so today I wanted to talk about how to start when you feel stuck. That's a big one. I know um I I well, I don't know where you you're listening to. We have people all over the place that are listening. I'm so grateful. And so you might be in a season of feeling stuck and you just don't know what to do. Well, I thought it was good to kind of bring in a guest. This person I have known for I don't know, at least two years. I want to say more just because we met during the pandemic. So it's 2025 now, so we've known each other for a very long time, and she has been a blessing to me, and just a breath of fresh air. She's been on our platform before when we used to do our power-up calls, and she's just amazing. Her name is Keisandra, but she goes by the name of Kiki Smith. She's a mother, an author, a speaker, a Californian native, and she does a lot of outreach and community work, which transforms so many people's lives. Well, I wanted to bring her on because she has her latest book titled Beauty for Ashes. The goal was very simple: transform lives one day at a time so that you and so many others can live lives of legacy to prosper in the fullness that God has called and created you to be. A very powerful, power-packed, short read. It's amazing. And I wanted to bring her on to not only encourage you, but to just give a fresh voice on this platform because I know y'all are tired of me. But anywho, let's welcome our friend Kiki. Welcome, Kiki. Hi. Hello. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming. Listen, I'm not gonna hold you. And if you guys stick around because we're gonna have our overflow and um we're gonna be getting into this book. That's gonna be later. But I wanted to ask, I'm just gonna jump right in because I know the listeners like they got their ears listening. Hopefully, y'all sitting down and driving. But I wanted to ask you in regards to your book, your book, Beauty for Ashes, shares about turning hard places into hope. Can you like tell us a time when God's word gave you strength in the middle of feeling stuck?

SPEAKER_00: 4:01

Yeah. Um, so I remember specifically, and um I think that this was really a defining moment for me. Uh I remember one time in the middle of my mess and my being stuck. I was in a very bad marriage, and you know, I had all of these different things going on that I felt were out of my control. And I really didn't know what to do. You know, I felt like I was in a certain place with God, however, I would soon come to find out that I was not where I thought I was. So on one end, I could hear God telling me to go this direction and do this and do that, but circumstantially, it was not feasible. You know, it was like, okay, God, you're telling me to do this, but how am I supposed to do that? I mean, you see my circumstance, like, where do I even begin? And so it was just a bunch of turmoil mixed with anxiety, fear, uh, confusion, all kinds of things, disappointments, and I just really felt hopeless. But it was one day when God spoke to me and he gave me his word. Um, and this was the turning point for me, uh, Jeremiah 29 and 11. And in that verse, he speaks to the prophet Jeremiah and he says, I know the plans that I have for you, and they are plans of good and not evil to uh give you hope in the future and to bring you to an expected end. And so he kept highlighting that to me. And once I, you know, I read it and I read it, but there was something that was unlocked in me, something that was released, something that moved out of the way from me being stuck. That was the beginning of my term. That was a defining moment for me because not only did I read it, but I started to believe it. You know, a lot of times we read the scriptures and we know, but then we have to ask, how much do we really believe this? You know, and so I began to make it personal because God made it personal for me, he made it personal to me. And I heard him. And so the more that I started to hold on to that and say, okay, you're telling me that your plan for me is good, and I'm looking at the mess that I'm in. I'm looking at what's keeping me stuck and what's keeping me bound and what's keeping me living beneath, and none of this is good. But here you are telling me the plan for my life that you have is good. So that tells me that this is not the end. There's something that's much greater, and something that's broader that's waiting for me. There is something that I have not grasped yet, and there is something that I have yet to, you know, uh take hold to. And so that scripture, I started to hold on to it like I didn't have anything else. And because I started to hold on to that, I started to move according to that, and that allowed my faith to build, that allowed strength that was not there to come. And that began to change a lot of things for me because I then started to make what some call crazy faith moves. I started to do things um that I've never done before in the sense of change the way that I thought. Because also a lot of what caused me to be stuck was the lens that I saw myself through. So what I had in front of me was really mirrored from a broken lens, and I didn't know how to get out of it, you know what I mean? Like it was a mess, yes, but I didn't have to necessarily continue to see it that way. I could to where it would affect me and have me in this place. So once I changed my view, once I changed my lens, once I put on some new glasses, then I was able to see, okay, God, this is not the plan that you have for me because this is not good. Like, yes, you will work this for my good, but this right here, this is not the end, and this is not all that you've called me to. And so that was a really uh important defining moment for me. Me starting to believe, and I actually stepped out on faith to believe that he had a greater plan for me, and so I was able to walk away from things, I was able to put on this new garment. I was able to start to see myself the way that he saw me. I was able to allow his love that's always been there to really shine on the dark places because I believed what he told me. And that was to bring me hope in the future, to bring me into expect it, and expected which is complete in.

SPEAKER_02: 9:51

Yeah, that's good, especially the part when you said changed view, because a lot of times we see ourselves and the lies that were told us and not the truth that set us free, which is Jesus. That's amazing. So that brings up another question, then. What's one simple tool or practice from your book, Beauty for Ashes, that women, men, anyone listening rather, can start using this week to grow in confidence?

SPEAKER_00: 10:24

Well, I I believe that um one tool that we can use, or that many can use, um, that I that I have used is understanding your decisions. Um because your decisions come from your internal self. What you do today will affect your tomorrow. And we we that's like one of my favorite um quotes that I go by, and it's because uh like like there's a saying that says you have to watch your thoughts because they become words, and you have to watch your words because they become actions, and then you have to watch your actions because they become your character. And so I would say first start off by evaluating your internal, but it comes with uh a hard truth, it comes with the uh an honesty that you have to be willing to face because the things that we do and the actions that we take come from our thoughts and our in our internal self, and so um if we have our internal selves together, then our actions will stem from that, like the Bible says, from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So if our hearts are corrupted, or if our hearts are uh walking around with condemnation or self-sabotage or you know, depression and all of these things, the things that we do are gonna come from those things. And so I I would that's the first thing I would say. Let God come in into the spaces that you're afraid to let go of because it's gonna affect your tomorrow, whether it's through uh you birthing children, birthing assignments, you know, relationships, a new job, whatever the case may be. Your tomorrow is brighter than what you may even know right now. But it starts with letting God come in and touch the parts that we try to hide or the parts that we know are there, but we just choose not to deal with them because it will affect our tomorrow tomorrow. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_02: 13:08

That's a yeah, understanding your decisions is wow, you kind of getting into the overflow topic though. So I'm I'm not, I'm not gonna that's good. So, so if you had like so many women, men, like I said, are listening, um, and they want to know like how to disciple even their families, you know. You don't have to have a pulpit, people. You just need to know how to influence the people that God has called for you to influence. So, you know, they're looking like, how do I influence families? But they don't feel ready, they don't feel qualified, they don't feel adequate enough. How would you encourage them to take their first step into that?

SPEAKER_00: 13:53

Well, I um the first thing that we have to remember is that God does the work and we are just the vessels being used. But I would encourage uh many to kind of reflect and remember uh, if they can, where they were when they first got discipled or when God first came to them. What what space were they in? What place were they in? Because then they can kind of empathize and see that their family is probably where they were, and so um I would say don't make it a project, so to speak, even though it can kind of feel like that, you know, because you're you're trying to disciple, you're trying to do a work, you're trying to get people to come into the light that you are now in. However, I would say, first off, you know, make it as natural as possible. You know, it it there's no uh ABC format necessarily to um, you know, win people. I think that the the best way is the Bible says, let your light so shine before men so that your father in heaven may be glorified. So the first thing, the first most important thing is to continue walking in the light that God has given you because they're gonna see it. And then when it comes to a practical sense, start off with this basic conversation. And I love to use this analogy when it comes to God because it's so real and it's it's it's very uh accurate if you if you can say, um, I love to use relationships, you know, um, because that's what God is, He's relational, you know, and that's what this whole walk is about being in relationship with Him, not religion. And so I love to use the example of um bringing it down to a practical relationship, how when we are in relationships with people, it's really not supposed to be one-sided, although we do have those, but that's a different story. However, um in when we see relationships, real ones, we see there's a thing called commitment, right? And that is from both sides. And so we look at the the dynamics of what commitment holds, and we know that we want somebody to be committed to us, right? And we want to be committed to people we love. Well, that's the same thing with God. God is committed to us, and He wants us to be committed to Him. So the things that we do in our relationships, and it doesn't necessarily have to be romantic relationships, it can just be a relationship that has a strong foundation. You know, it could be mom, it could be dad, family member, um, or even on the job, you know, when you have a colleague, and if you guys are working on a project together, you guys both have to be committed to make the project work. And so the same thing with God, you know, He wants us to be in relationship with Him. And we start off with baby steps, you know, you spend time, you um then grow to start sharing uh thoughts and ideas and circumstances and things like that, and then the next thing you know, you have built this beautiful thing, and so I believe that that is a a practical way, even if the person is single, you can still, or people uh are single, you can still show what your relationship with him looks like, and break it down to them in a a very natural, practical way that they can understand it. And but it but in a way that it doesn't cause pressure, it doesn't feel like oh, I have to do this right now. No, because you want them to feel comfortable in coming into the relationship because it's not a force, and God is not gonna force anybody, but simply invite, and so that is what I would leave with with uh you all today.

SPEAKER_02: 18:39

Yeah, that's a good one, and it reminds me of a quote that a minister um mentions, and the quote is you are the only Bible some unbelievers will ever read. Because it's so important that, like you said, how is what are you doing? What what what kind of example are you doing? Are you perfect? No, but they'll see a change. And you you mentioned something, and and what what uh uh stood out to me was you can't do this alone. And a lot of times people try to do everything by themselves, and that's why we have Equip the Next community. You have your platform that you'll mention afterwards, but you know, I always encourage people to just reach out and subscribe or just be a part of a community of believers that can encourage you, push you, motivate you, pray for you, be there for you. You know, you can't do it by yourself, and a lot of times we think we can, and then we get overwhelmed. So I love this man. This is first of all, this is really good, just having those nuggets. I pray that you guys have been, you know, blessed by this amazing talk, fellowship. Like I said, um, I don't share my platform with everybody, okay? And so this woman of God I've known for a long time and I've seen her growth and her walk, and she's just a beacon of light to just be around, in my opinion. And so I pray that this was a blessing. Listen, we're not done, so if you want to stick around, you can stick around. But if you have to leave, don't forget to get the um equit the next of five Bible study guardrails for confidence. It's a it's a great tool, it's free. You can go to equithenects.com forward slash freebie to get them because I want you to grow in God's word and lead boldly. Okay, so we're done. Um, we are at the overflow, and we are gonna be talking about. Um, Kiki's gonna stay just a little bit. We're I'll I'll give y'all like a couple minutes. We ain't gonna be long. Um, but a couple things stood out to me in chapter six of the book. Um, it takes two, but it starts with one. And when you answered the question, understanding your decisions, I was like, oh, this is wrapping right up in here because you're talking right up in the door about Eve and the decision that she made. And I have so many things um highlighted. Oh my gosh, let me see. Like, okay, you say things like the agreements that you made turn into lessons. Um that that really stood out to me because it's true. It's like a lot of times we spend a lot of times regretting the decisions that we made instead of learning that they're lessons and moving on, just moving forward. Like, you know, you can dwell on what you did bad, but you all of us got that. But can I learn from that mistake? Right. So that I can grow from that mistake. What did I put here? Hold on, what is this? Oh, okay. See, I got like like highlights and then I have exclamation points. Um, on page 37, you talk about when there's no agreement, then purpose can't be born. Touch up, give a little razzle dazzle with that, please. Okay, just sprinkle a little razzle dazzle.

SPEAKER_00: 22:20

So the I love um in there in the book of Amos, it says, How can two walk together except they agree, right? So uh earlier I mentioned um like uh about a project. If you have two people that are supposed to be working on a project, especially if you're birthing something, uh, you know, meaning bringing forth a project that's in its infant stages, something that you two have created, uh, but you have this great vision for it. If you all cannot agree on, and I'm not just talking about in one area, but if it's you know, you guys just don't agree, it's always some kind of friction of some sort. You guys just don't agree, and then somehow, some way you two end up having two different visions for this thing, yeah, uh, for this project. The purpose of the project cannot be born because you guys don't agree. Yeah, and so um, and the same thing, uh, I will go back to this, uh, even in uh the marital uh sense, God has a purpose for everything, right? And then so even in marriage, he has a purpose, but if you are unequally yoked and you don't agree, then the purpose that God has for that specific thing cannot be fulfilled. Yeah, because you it's there's no unity, and God dwells in unity, He makes two one, and so um it it can't flourish and it cannot come forth from that particular sense or that particular place, and so that's um that's that's what uh I mean, and I've seen many things uh not flow the way that it should have, because there was no agreement. And I've seen this in ministries, I've seen this in relationships, I've seen this, you know, um, and we can even this might be a little touchy for some, and I apologize if it is, yeah. But I I if it's okay for me to use it um from a woman, you know, who is carrying a baby. Yeah. Um sometimes there are complications, yeah, you know, in her body because something did not agree. Yeah, so it affects the outcome, yeah, it affects the purpose that she's carrying. And so we have to um do our best to look at what we're coming into agreement with, yeah. Because we want purpose to be fulfilled, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 25:33

And I like how you said, and that's just an example, of course. Um, there's a lot of biblical factors that go along with it. So she's not saying, you know, um it's anyone's fault or you didn't agree or anything like that, but that's a great example because we do birth when you're married, or if you are in a relationship, or if you're in a friendship, or if you're in a business partnership, you're birthing something. You're something you're birthing, you're birthing um a marriage that's gonna hopefully last, you're birthing a business, you are birthing an idea. And so um looking at it from that lens, uh, it what stood out to me is that you also have to agree to disagree. Because just because we're not gonna always agree, like that's just life. We're especially marriage, you've got two different people, different backgrounds, different organs, all kinds of stuff. But if you can't even agree to disagree, if I can't respect your difference, if you cannot respect my difference, if we cannot grow from that and past that, then that is an issue that also keeps us going for, like you said, moving forward. One of the things that you also um noted on on page 38 was one main reason um it's you were talking about confidence, and you said that you weren't, it says, I wasn't confident enough to walk in the direction that he was calling me to. You know, a lot of people that I have met don't even have the confidence in themselves to move forward, and they have almost like a false humility because you have to be humble, but you also have to be bold for Christ. When we go in the look in the book of Acts, these these people were bold for Christ. They were willing to die for him in other countries, and I think it's more so a Western view, because if you go to other countries, they they have this boldness and this confidence, they're risking their lives for the gospel. And I love when you said that about having the confidence. You have to have the confidence in who you are and who God made you to be. And I find that one of the biggest challenges, and I think I shared this in one of our like groups that we've had, um, it's not so much okay, some of it's confidence, but a lot of it is covetedness. Because what happens is that we compare our gift to somebody else's, the the shiny gift. I call them the shiny gift, right? The prophetic gifts to the you know the signs of wonders. And if our gift don't move like that, then we think we're less than. Or if we're not voistressed, or if you're an introvert, or whatever the case may be, or if you're mopping floors, but you have a ministry, we think that's less than because we're so busy looking at somebody else instead of looking at who God made us to be. And it's supposed to be we're complementing each other and we're working together. So you can do all the shiny stuff, but I could sit up there and and and and um and and file the papers and make sure that everything is organized. I mean, I'm just saying the unity that we lack, right? That's another thing. So I'm I'm gonna shut up, see what you say about that.

SPEAKER_00: 28:47

Then we done um okay, so uh can I just piggyback really quick? Um with the agreement. I think another, because you're absolutely right, uh, we have to learn to agree to disagree, but even with that, we're still in agreement. And I think another word that's appropriate to use is alignment. Yeah, because you can agree to disagree but still be aligned. That's true. I agree with that. And so um, and the confidence, the confidence came once I became in agreement, which means, well, in my case, once I became in alignment with God's will and with what he was saying to me. That's good.

SPEAKER_02: 29:33

Because you ain't gonna agree with everything, God tell you. You're gonna be like, I ain't doing that. I like the alignment part. That's good.

SPEAKER_00: 29:41

Okay, come on, Jonah.

SPEAKER_02: 29:43

Yeah, exactly. Right.

SPEAKER_00: 29:46

That's good. And so, you know, it was like once I took that step, then things started to unfold for me. So it's like, okay, you did this, now I'm gonna release this, now I'm gonna release that, now I'm gonna release. It you know, until I started to walk in the becoming of who He's called me to be. And so, um, but the unity, yes, God is all about unity. As a matter of fact, Jesus uh in his prayer in John, he prayed to God and said, make them one as we are one. And so God is all about unity, you know, no matter what, like you said, the the the gifts. And I I love that example because you said the shiny gift. You can do this, but I can do this. Yep. And if everybody is playing their part, which goes back to what you said about covetousness earlier, not coveting the next one's gift, which goes back to knowing who you are in Christ and what you're called to do. If everybody plays their part, then we will all be in alignment, yes, with God's view of how he wants us to be. Yes, and so um I think that's really good. Um drop that micro. I think that's a good way. I'm doing my part, you doing my part, but yet we are in alignment, yeah, because all things work together, so you know, for his good, we we need everybody doing their part. Like if you're called to be a me, why are you trying to be a foot? Yeah, say that again, like and so you know, you have greatness in what it is that God has given you to do, yeah. And once you realize that and start to really uh be comfortable in that and humble in that, you'd be surprised how God will use you because even in the Bible, everybody wasn't a major prophet. You had minor prophets and you had major prophets, but some of those minor prophets did great things, yeah, just as the major prophets have done.

SPEAKER_02: 32:18

Yeah, so nobody is left out, and everybody has an important part, and you know, the important and that's a good point because um I think we shared this in one episode. It's really just the size of the book. Minor prophet and major profit, it's really just the size of the book. And a lot of times people will be like, oh, well, they got more coverage. It they were doing their job. Yeah, that's all it is. It's like we have to we have to really get into the mode of that. But you know, you brought up a good point, and I just wanted to interject by saying that unfortunately, a lot of people don't know what they're called to do, they don't know their spiritual gift, they don't know it. And um that it starts with knowing who God is and who Christ is in the word, and then he can reveal that to you, and then being a part of fellowship with just people who want you to succeed and win, not people who tear you down and want to beat you up and say whatever. I mean, I love you tough, but I love you. Now, you know, I might be like that, ain't cool girl, but I will I will support you, and that's what we need as just people, and we don't have enough of that. So listen, right? We can go on and on, but I mean, you guys, you subscribe, like I said, give drop your uh social media handles. Where can where can we find you?

SPEAKER_00: 33:34

Um, you can find me. So I am on Facebook as uh at Kiki Smith, and then my Instagram is I am Kiki Smith. And I don't know if anybody's on TikTok, but if you are, you'll be surprised. Uh you'll be surprised. I am on TikTok as well. I am Kiki Smith and YouTube at Kiki Smith.

SPEAKER_02: 33:58

So that's easy, y'all. So y'all can find now that's easy, and I'll make sure I'll put that in there as well so you guys could um find her. Like I said, her book is uh Beauty for Ashes. It's definitely a good read to have um just for encouragement. Um listen, I pray that you guys were blessed by this amazing talk, fellowship, and don't be a stranger review. Um again, get the five Bible study guardrails for confidence at equip the next dot com forward slash freebie. I would like to hear from you. Email me hello at equip the next dot com. Bless you.