Protect Your Heart Without Closing It | Ep. 145

Has church hurt made you more guarded with people—or even with God? In this episode, we talk about protecting your heart without allowing disappointment to turn into isolation, bitterness, or distrust. You’ll learn why the failures of Christian leaders should never define your view of God, how forgiveness and healthy boundaries can coexist, and what Scripture teaches about letting God’s peace guard your heart. If past hurt is affecting your faith, Bible reading, or willingness to trust again, this conversation will help you move forward without closing your heart.

👉 Listen to a related episode: What’s Quietly Shaping Your Faith? | Ep. 132

Transcript

Copy

Welcome And The Heart Question

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This is episode 145, and I'm your host, Satoya, and this is Equip the Next, where you get equipped to lead, disciple, and move the mission forward. So, are you ready to protect your heart without closing it up? You don't want to miss this. This is again Equip the Next, and I'm so grateful if you um are new to joining us. Feel free to stick around and don't forget to download that free study guide, the Bible study guardrails. Um, also, if you are returning, or if this podcast is a blessing to you, if this episode blesses you, feel free to share it. Share it with people you love, follow so that you are always updated on um future episodes. We drop an episode every Wednesday, and so I would love for you guys to come along for the ride. You can always email me at hello at equipthenext.com. I would actually greatly appreciate if you did just say hi. Sometimes I'm you know, you're like, did anybody did I connect with anybody? So I would just really appreciate it. Somebody said hi, how you doing? That would really be a blessing. So anyway,

When Believers Disappoint And It Stings

SPEAKER_00 1:49

we're gonna be talking about today um protecting your heart without closing it. We're gonna we're gonna talk about that because in the previous episode we shared about when people don't act Christ-like, but they claim to be Christians, and that can sometimes, you know, really put a damper on your heart. It can really affect you if if you continuously encounter that, especially in leadership. Um, but it could be anybody, it doesn't have to be people in leadership. I think we put too much stock in people in leadership, and and you know, there's just people in general um who can greatly affect um your perception of the word, especially if they claim to be Christians. And so I'm going to share briefly how you can protect your heart while still keeping it open to be able to receive, to be able to connect with people who actually do care. And those things take time and they're organic, but they do happen, they do exist. So, first thing I want to look at and focus on is sometimes disappointment can harden our hearts and create distance from God. You know, people hurt you, but it hurt, it hurt different. It sting just a little bit, just just just a tidbit when it's a fellow believer in Christ. Like when it's a you know, they call themselves a brother and sister in Christ. When they hurt you, that's a different hurt. Because you know, you can expect it from the world, but when you go to church with somebody, you know, you're in a Bible class with somebody, a person lives in your house, and they hurt you, that hurts and that can affect you because now it's kind of like I think it can kind of distort your thinking if you're not careful, which creates that wedge with you and God. Because a great example would be say you love apples, you love them, and you you really can't stand bananas, but you love apples, and you bite into an apple, and then you realize that the inside is like a banana, the consistency of a banana tastes like a banana, your mind processes that differently. Because now you're thinking, well, does that mean I like bananas? I don't, I don't understand. You know, your mind is trying to sort that out, and we could look at that with people in the body of Christ. You see somebody that's a leader, they they they look like a leader, they act like a leader in some aspects, but they don't show that. Your mind is trying to process that, and sometimes that can create that wedge and that distance between you and God. Like I said before, we don't want anybody to separate us from that. He's never gonna separate from us, but we don't want people to um force us to separate our role and just reading the word and knowing him and coming to him. We don't want anybody to take that from us. So I'm gonna ask you this question. How or sorry, has disappointment changed the way I approach God? Ask yourself that question. Has disappointment changed the way I approach God? Maybe it's not a recent disappointment, maybe it's not a disappointment you had as a child um as an adult, but maybe it's a disappointment you had as a child that is carried on up until now. Perhaps you're 60 years old and you're still holding on to that disappointment that you received when you were in Sunday school as a child, and it's carried over into your life and changed the way that you approach God. Perhaps you didn't have a father in your life, and so you don't really know what that relationship looks like. My father wasn't in my life. I had father figures in my life, but I didn't have my father in my life. Um, and so that can change how you view your heavenly father. Or perhaps you did have a father in your life, but he was a tyrant. So all you know is God is this this bad God? You know, that that's all you know because our earthly father is the first example if you're a child that you're gonna see. So ask yourself this has disappointment changed the way I approach God? That's a fair question, I think.

Stop Putting People Where God Belongs

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Because one thing I I want to note here, I want to make sure that we, because we're we're gonna break some stuff in these in these coming episodes, I hope. But I want you to understand and realize we can't put people in the same category as God. Sit with that for just a second. You cannot put people in the same category as God. We tend to do that by default, and we tend to associate people's bad behavior with God failing us or God lacking in that area. He is God, He is all-knowing, He is God, and we are flawed in a fallen world. We live in a fallen world, and like we talked about last week, people have a free will, and sometimes people are cray-cray. And sometimes people read the word and they do not believe an ounce of it. They're just reading it and they're reciting it because they have deeper issues that need to be addressed. So the first thing I want you to do is don't put them in the same category, even if they're like the best person ever. You might know somebody who's just Christ-like in every way. We still shouldn't put that person in the same category as God because God is God and they are they, them, whatever. But we have to make sure that we do that. It's very important. It will hopefully take the weight and that burden off. We have a tendency in the body of Christ to esteem the leadership. And I'm I'm not saying that just leadership does you know stuff. I'm just I'm just pointing it out there. But we put leadership on this pedestal, and they must know everything to the point where we have become lazy. We go to church, we get the word, they tell us to open the Bible up, we read it there, and we check that off as our time with the Lord. And we read the Bible because we went to church on that day, and so therefore, we read the Bible. No, that is a community effort. You have to know God for yourself. And when we look at that leader, we put them in the same category as BFFs. I even heard this minister say something on the lines of like, what did they say? Like they were like, Well, you know, me and God, you know, we had that relationship, and y'all, some of y'all may not be that deep. Something like that. I was like, what? No, that's not true. You you ain't that close for you even say that. And we have this cancel culture or this like culture of like exposing every prophet and every bad teaching and everything and every that they get the popular ones, they don't get the ones that no one knows about. But anyway, you know, we get these bad, this person did this and this person did that. And I'm like, okay, whatever. We put so much emphasis on the leadership, and we un, we we put them in the same category, and because they yell a little bit or they try to threaten you or they misinterpret scripture and make you feel guilty, and they Bible thump you or they weaponize the words of the of the Bible, people have a tendency to put them in the same category as God. And you better not say you're a prophet. Yeah, everybody thinks they're a prophet now. So if they say that, then it's like, oh my gosh, they said it, so God must have said it. No, we cannot put people in the same category as God. God is God, and we are in a fallen world, and if it wasn't because of Jesus, we wouldn't even be able to get to our Father.

Peace That Guards Your Inner Life

SPEAKER_00 10:34

So I want to share um some verses on how to protect your heart. Um, and I'm gonna start with Colossians 3. I'm gonna read verse 15 and 16a, which is like the first part of 16. It says, and let the peace of Christ me. Let the peace of Christ, so we we see that word peace, rule in your heart, to which indeed you were called in one body, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you rich richly. Did you see that word peace? We're gonna see peace a lot. Now I'm gonna go to Philippians four and seven. And the peace, we say that word again, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will what does that say? Guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I'm talking about how to protect your heart without closing it. Because what you don't want to do is not trust anybody because of a few people. You don't want to say, I don't trust any church because of one church, or because you just went through a string of some church. You don't want to say, I don't trust that person because that person. So a great way to protect your heart is to remember the peace, to allow the peace of God to rest in you. Let's look at um John. Sorry, I got I'm I'm trying to flip through it on my phone because I have so many of them. John 14, verse 27. And it says just Jesus, peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives, do I give to you. I'm just gonna stop right there. Peace. Well, I'll keep going. It says, let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. That doesn't mean you're not gonna be fearful at times. That doesn't mean that you're not, you just don't want to over allow it to overtake you and overpower you. You don't want uh to allow that to deter you from reading your word. You don't want to allow that to distance your relationship with the father. You don't want to have allow listen, Christ died for you so that you can have a relationship with the father. Do not allow anyone to take that from you. Imagine you worked really hard on a job, and you got a massive promotion. And then along comes somebody who's just gonna come in and say some stuff about you, may hurt your feelings, maybe they're just rude. Are you gonna allow them to take your promotion? Your your massive bonus you're about to get? Probably not. See, we know how to stand up for ourselves in the world, but when it comes to the body of Christ, we don't do that. We don't think we're supposed to do that because you have you have people who have misinterpreted scripture who will tell you you're supposed to take it. No, you're supposed to confront that, you're not supposed to take it. And so don't allow anyone to remove your relationship from the father. Christ died for you. Why would you allow anyone? I don't know who I'm talking to because I feel really like I feel a little passionate here, but why would you allow anyone to remove that relationship from you? Just do a survey on yourself and your life and remember how he's brought you out. Remember how he's um delivered you out of things, remember how he set you free. Don't allow anybody to steal that from you. This is just one way to protect your heart.

Forgiveness With Real Boundaries

SPEAKER_00 15:46

So that's why it's important to forgive. Not for them, but for you. Doesn't mean it's gonna hurt. Um, doesn't mean I'm sorry, it's not gonna hurt. Doesn't mean that you're not gonna feel some type of way. You're gonna forgive. It doesn't remove the memory, yet it heals the heart. Forgiveness is key. Listen, bitterness grows quickly. Remember that it grow it grows like a weed. But it's important to understand that forgiveness and boundaries can both coexit coexist. You can forgive someone and you can have boundaries, and that is okay. Again, we're talking about protecting your heart without closing it. A lot of times, people have unfortunately gotten their heart trampled on in the body of Christ because they didn't set boundaries, which makes sense because you feel like that's your brother and sister in Christ. So you're open and vulnerable, and poof, you realize they're they're humans. And maybe they still got character issues because you know what? There's a lot of leadership and a lot of leaders that are out and they get out prematurely and their character hasn't been developed. It's sad, but it's true. Sometimes they just wanted accolades, they just wanted somebody to praise them, and so they got them there. I'm not saying that for everyone, but I'm saying a lot of times people come out too soon. Too soon could be uh 40 years old, by the way. Too soon could be 50, because our time is not measured by God's time. And so sometimes people can come out too soon, and their their character is faulty and shot. And so when they read the word, they're going through a sh uh a shoddy, um, bitter, uh, faulty lens, and then that's what they're delivering the word off of. So set boundaries. And if people don't respect your boundaries, oh well, they're your boundaries, and they can coexist with forgiveness. Healing, I'm gonna calm it down. Healing keeps our heart soft and poised, I would say. Healing. Healing is something that is consistent. Listen, I too have to make sure that I forgive on a daily. And my as my heart continues to heal, it does not shut me out. I do not shut people out of my life. I do not um, you know, come in with a negative attitude. I just have boundaries. That's all. And discernment. But healing will keep that heart posture soft and willing to receive. We

When Hurt Warps How You Hear

SPEAKER_00 18:47

have to also understand that unresolved hurt can affect how we approach scripture and hear from God. Remember, I mentioned earlier about like you leaders, they're coming through that lens. That lens is shot. It is this mess is all. And they're coming through that lens. And a lot of times it's because they're hurt. You can tell when somebody's preaching and they've been hurt and they've had they haven't gotten delivered very easily. Oh, yeah, they're hurt. Somebody rejected them. So sometimes unresolved hurt can affect how we approach scripture and hear from God. And so that's why I thought it was fitting to make sure that we have this episode on how you can protect your heart without closing it up, because you might be going into a ministry, you might be leading a ministry, you might be ministering to one person over the phone. We want to make sure that your heart and that hurt has been resolved so that way when you approach scripture, when you nurture someone, when you talk into someone's life, that it does not distort scripture and what God tells you. It's a cycle, it just keeps on repeating. And we don't want that to happen. We want to break that cycle. We want to have um practical tools and tips to help us. Why am I bringing this up, you know, in the first place? Because I know I usually tell you how to study the Bible. We talk about all different things, but I thought it was fitting to um insert these episodes here in the month of August, because if you don't deal with some stuff and we don't heal from some areas, you will not be able to have the confidence to read the word. I didn't really realize that. I'm like, why aren't people wanting to read the word? Because they're probably struggling still in some areas. I want you to grow in God's word confidently and be free. And so this is one way that we start understanding the Christ thread, God's grace. His forgive he forgave us, he died for us. Allow him to heal you.

One Healing Challenge For This Week

SPEAKER_00 21:12

So I'm gonna challenge you this week to ask God to reveal one place where hurt has become a barrier to him. Ask him that. Be willing to accept the truth. Make sure you empty your thoughts in your head out when you come in prayer. Don't don't have all your own notions of what it is. Just sit with him, bring a pen, pen, and paper. But allow him to reveal one place where hurt has become a barrier to him. And then allow him to feel that so that you can get back on the right path, so you can open up that Bible. And not even that, so that you can just have a relationship with him till we meet again. Well, that's it for today. Thanks for listening to the Equip the Next podcast. If this episode blessed you, I'd appreciate it if you leave a review and share it with someone who can use a little encouragement. Now grow in God's word and lead boldly.